IslandVibesIOP.com 8 CRIME remains evenly divided on the age-old question: “Is that music actually too loud, or am I just getting old?” Somewhere on the island, one person is turning the volume up while the neighbor is standing at the window wondering when exactly 9:30 p.m. became “the middle of the night.” Perhaps my favorite charge this month, purely for its 1800s terminology: “defrauding an innkeeper.” You almost expect the next line of the report to involve horse theft, a stagecoach and somebody fleeing toward Mount Pleasant before sundown. It sounds less like a modern criminal charge and more like something a sheriff would read aloud outside the saloon. So as summer fades, the monthly standings remain remarkably consistent. Marijuana is still marijuana-ing. People without valid licenses are still driving. People who have been drinking are still driving. And somebody, somewhere on Isle of Palms, remains absolutely convinced the neighbor’s music is too loud. STAY TUNED, STAY SAFE AND REMEMBER: IF YOUR LICENSE IS SUSPENDED, YOUR HEADLIGHTS DON’T WORK, YOUR TAG IS EXPIRED AND THERE’S MARIJUANA IN THE CAR, PERHAPS TODAY IS NOT THE DAY TO TEST WHETHER THAT TURN SIGNAL STILL WORKS. IOP POLICE BLOTTER This is a satirical summary of real incidents reported on the Isle of Palms over the past month. All names and events are based on public records and presented with comedic exaggeration. THE TRIPLE D’S ARE BACK SUMMER MAY BE WINDING DOWN ON THE ISLE OF PALMS, BUT APPARENTLY NOBODY TOLD THE POLICE BLOTTER. From Aug. 14 through Sept. 14, our old familiar cast of characters returned for another episode of “What Exactly Did You Think Was Going to Happen?” And once again, marijuana claimed the top spot. Sixteen people found themselves facing marijuana-related charges this month, ranging from simple possession to possession with intent to distribute. At this point, marijuana has become the Tom Brady of the IOP police blotter. Every month you think somebody else might finally take the title, but – nope. Weed is back on the podium. Marijuana had some serious competition this month though. Driving under the influence and driving under suspension finished in a dead heat with 10 participants each. Nothing says “solid decision-making” quite like getting behind the wheel after drinking – or getting behind the wheel after the state has already specifically asked you not to. The DUS category continues to fascinate. Apparently, some view losing your driver’s license less as a prohibition and more as a gentle suggestion. And several contestants earned bonus points with expired tags, illegally tinted windshields, missing insurance, defective equipment and assorted other clues practically begging an officer to say, “You know what, let’s take a closer look.” Then there was noise complaint season. Fifteen reports were specifically labeled noise violations. Seven were founded. Eight were unfounded. That is about as close to a statistical tie as you can get, meaning Isle of Palms CARROLL REALTY, INC. (843) 532-6288 mattdeantonio.com
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