CRIME Psychedelic journey to jail In a month that could only be scripted for an SNL skit, Isle of Palms saw no fewer than 23 DUI charges. One spirited soul even thought it prudent to threaten the arresting officer, a tactic that only added "threatening an officer" to his evening's tab. Meanwhile, three adventurous souls decided mere alcohol wouldn’t suffice and turned to psychedelic mushrooms to "speed up" their journey, clearly mistaking the freeway for a warp speed button. Perhaps, they were aiming for a different kind of trip altogether. They were instead promptly greeted by flashing lights and a trip to the local jail rather than any mystical realm they may have hoped to explore. Golf cart shenanigans Golf carts, usually the tame cousins of the automotive world, weren’t left out of the tomfoolery. It seems even these leisure vehicles aren't safe on IOP. Two individuals learned the hard way that driving under the influence isn’t limited to just cars, landing them tee times not on the green but at the Leeds Avenue County Course's holding cell. Hopefully, they scored better there than on their sobriety tests. The Green Monster March saw a "high" number of drug violations, with a whopping 52 logged and marijuana starring as the main culprit. Despite its legality in much of the country, 38 states for medicinal use and 24 for recreational use, our local law enforcement treats the Green Monster as a sprint starter for a race up I-526 to let you come back down. However, these encounters frequently accompany the "possession of drug paraphernalia," a charge which in modern terms extends beyond the nostalgic apple or empty beer can of yesteryear. Third time’s the charm Two people were noted as being habitual offenders. It's unclear if it's their devotion to the stank or their thrice-suspended licenses, but apparently third time's the charm is not a concept they’re familiar with. Adding to the chaos, three other individuals who were slapped with DUS were also charged with possession of firearms, including one with a stolen handgun. Two others discovered that their warrants extended beyond local boundaries, making their drug charges the least of their worries. Aside from the heightened drama, the regular dance of driving under suspension played out, with one such incident conveniently wrapping up another wanted individual's freedom tour. Crack is wack Not to be outdone by mere vegetation, two individuals were nabbed for dabbling in nose candy, while another entrepreneurial spirit decided that distributing crack was a wise business model — spoiler: it wasn’t. Unfortunately, as we all know, crack is indeed wack. “Party in the IOP” Rounding out the list were about 40 noise complaints, proving once again that someone's always upset when they're not invited to the party. I’m sure these party poopers had valid reasons to call. In the words of Miley Cyrus, there’s always a “Party in the IOP.” 12 IslandVibesIOP.com By Detective Dusty Dunes PERPS OF IOP NEVER CEASE TO AMUSE The following incidents were obtained from the Isle of Palms Police Department Media Log Reports. This is a parody of real criminal events that took place between March 14-April 14. Names of individuals and business locations have been omitted out of respect and privacy. In conclusion, whether on four wheels, two or none, the perps of Isle of Palms have proven that creativity in legal infractions knows no bounds. Stay tuned for next month's edition, where we'll see what new tales of woe and wonder will emerge from this truly spirited community. POLICE BLOTTER WELCOME TO 3003 HARTNETT BLVD Not your average vacation rental. The owners are avid travelers who have collected many one of a kind and unique decorations, mementos and photographs from their travels in Africa, Europe and Asia. The house is decorated in soft, calm neutral colors with exotic accents from around the World. The house is a perfect vacation spot for a family or guests that want to be close to everything: the beach (5 min walk), one block from a huge playground and the island’s recreation facilities, which include tennis and pickle-ball courts, 5 min drive to Sullivan’s Island, 20 min drive to the historic Charleston downtown, 20 min drive to the USS Yorktown. 843-886-9600 | carrollrealtyinc.com
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