IslandVibesIOP.com 9 Need a Lyft? Alcohol continued making regular appearances as well. Officers responded to several DUI arrests, open container violations, broken liquor seals, fake IDs and minors in possession of alcohol. Vacation memories are priceless. Court dates, attorney fees and higher insurance premiums are not. The younger crowd also stayed busy. Officers investigated a range of thefts from breaking into locked coolers to stealing bicycles, as well as vandalism, trespassing, assaults and one case of defrauding an innkeeper. Somewhere along the way, someone decided that stealing from a beach cooler was worth the risk. Hopefully the reward was at least a cold sandwich. Animal-related calls added a little variety to the month. Officers handled dog bites, dogs running at large, animal cruelty investigations and welfare checks involving four-legged residents. Thankfully, no dogs were cited for barking after quiet hours – although a few probably deserved a warning. They Love to Fly Free and it Shows A handful of reports stood out from the crowd. Officers investigated the theft of nearly 250,000 airline miles, responded to a report of someone impersonating a law enforcement officer, recovered a stolen vehicle, addressed counterfeit license plates and fraudulent employment documents and assisted with a child welfare investigation related to narcotics. As always, no two shifts are ever quite the same on the Isle. So, as we head deeper into another busy summer, here’s some free advice: leave the drugs at home, make sure your driver’s license is actually valid, keep the music at a reasonable volume and remember that South Carolina laws don’t disappear just because your GPS says “You have arrived.” We’ll see what next month’s visitors bring with them. CRIME NEW MONTH, SAME ENERGY IOP POLICE BLOTTER This is a satirical summary of real incidents reported on the Isle of Palms over the past month. All names and events are based on public records and presented with comedic exaggeration. SUMMER HAS OFFICIALLY ARRIVED ON THE ISLE OF PALMS, BRINGING SUNSHINE, PACKED BEACHES AND ANOTHER MONTH OF POLICE REPORTS THAT REMIND US COMMON SENSE DOESN’T ALWAYS PACK ITS BAGS FOR VACATION. Green-minded Leading the monthly statistics once again was marijuana, which earned the unofficial “Most Valuable Offender” award. While much of America has moved on and legalized it in one form or another, South Carolina continues to stand its ground against a weed that’s become nearly as common as dandelions. Every summer, visitors arrive convinced the state must have changed its mind since last year. Spoiler alert: it hasn’t. The police blotter continues to serve as the monthly reminder that crossing the Isle of Palms Connector is not a magical portal where South Carolina laws disappear. Whether you agree with the law or not, the handcuffs don’t seem interested in the debate. A close second was everyone’s favorite repeat offender: driving under suspension. At this point, DUS has become such a regular feature that we’re considering giving it its own permanent section. Several drivers managed to combine suspended licenses with suspended tags, no insurance, counterfeit license plates, broken liquor seals or simply driving without ever obtaining a valid license. Apparently, “license suspended” is interpreted by some as more of a friendly suggestion than a legal restriction. As expected, noise complaints made another strong showing. Some were unfounded, but enough were legitimate to remind everyone that your vacation playlist doesn’t have to become the neighborhood’s. If your Bluetooth speaker requires its own carrying handle, chances are everyone within three blocks can enjoy your music whether they wanted to or not.
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