12 CRIME GREEN BUT NOT SO CLEAN Sixteen folks were cited for drug-related offenses and for once, everyone stuck to the classics. Marijuana reigned supreme as the sole offender—no meth labs, no mystery powders, just good ole Mary Jane. While we’re impressed at the lack of escalation, some overachievers managed to pair their simple possession charge with a DUI. That’s right: four out of six DUI cases also involved possession of marijuana. Call it the combo meal of bad decisions. If you’re going to break one law, maybe don’t multitask. LICENSE AND REGISTRATION OR LACK THEREOF If you thought driving without a valid license, registration or insurance was just a mild oversight, think again. Sixteen drivers tested the theory this month, proving once more that the only thing scarier than losing your license is using it incorrectly. Add to that the folks driving with expired tags and it seems like maybe DMV appointments should’ve been on everyone’s holiday wish list. OPEN CONTAINERS LEAD TO OPEN CELLS If you’re going to break the law, keep it simple. The more laws you break simultaneously, the higher your chances of ending up in this column. And remember, the law may be watching, but so are we — ready to write up your antics for everyone to enjoy. WHEN LAWS GET BROKEN SO DOES YOUR FREEDOM The following incidents were obtained from the Isle of Palms Police Department Media Log Reports. This is a parody of real criminal events that occurred between November and December. The names of individuals and business locations have been omitted out of privacy and respect. As we head into a new year, local law enforcement has been hitting the high notes — literally and figuratively. This month’s theme is “Never break two laws at once” because apparently that’s the golden rule everyone forgot. Stay safe, stay smart and for goodness' sake, schedule that DMV appointment! POLICE BLOTTER IslandVibesIOP.com
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