12 CRIME GRASS ISN’T ALWAYS GREENER A total of nine drug-related incidents kept officers busy this month. Seven involved simple possession of marijuana, known in these parts as the “devil’s lettuce.” In a town where loud music is more acceptable than loud smoke, some folks learned the hard way that what’s legal across most of the country is still considered contraband here. A word to the wise: keep the salad at home. NOT SANTA’S SNOW As for the remaining two, let’s just say there was some snow in the forecast — even though it’s still fall. Yep, cocaine made its way into two reports and while it doesn’t melt on your tongue like an ice cream cone, it does tend to melt your common sense. Whether you call it snow, blow or powdered poor judgment, it won’t make winter come any sooner — just your court date. DUCK, DUCK, DWS Apparently, the Isle of Palms has a new game sweeping the streets: driving while suspended. Eight contestants entered this month: five rookies, two repeat players and one DWS third timer, proving that some people just don’t know when to throw in the keys. Pro tip: It might be time to reconsider your travel plans if you’re collecting DWS offenses like frequent flier miles. OPEN BAR ON WHEELS Three people made the unfortunate mistake of treating their vehicles like mobile taverns this month. Whether it was sipping a cold beer or nursing a cocktail, these drivers discovered that the road isn’t a place for happy hour. One particularly ambitious individual brought their booze to the beach, only to learn alcohol isn’t allowed there either. It’s a double whammy when you lose your drink and get a ticket. HIT-AND-RUN CLUB Two hit-and-run incidents made the list, with one causing moderate injuries. While we hate to see anyone hurt, it’s worth noting that the fleeing drivers probably didn’t realize they’d end up running straight into legal trouble. You can run, but there’s no place to hide on IOP. PARTY POLICE Finally, we had 16 noise violations this month, proving that the Isle of Palms knows how to have a good time — sometimes too good. Folks, if you can hear the music over the sound of the ocean, it might be time to turn it down. DON’T SPEND THE HOLIDAYS IN HANDCUFFS The following incidents were obtained from the Isle of Palms Police Department Media Log Reports. This is a parody of real criminal events that occurred between October and November. The names of individuals and business locations have been omitted out of privacy and respect. Where the sand is warm, the water is calm and the drama is … occasionally comical! As always, the Isle of Palms remains a place of sunshine, sand and occasional questionable decision-making. Until next time, keep it legal, keep it quiet and don’t bring snow to the beach. POLICE BLOTTER IslandVibesIOP.com
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