Island Vibes December 2023

CRIME Highs and Lows of High Times Out of 85 incidents, a staggering 22 involved marijuana and drug paraphernalia. It’s like a “bake sale” gone wrong! Remember folks, “Just Say No” isn’t just a catchy slogan; it’s the law. Driving Under the Influence of… Bad Decisions? Seven drivers thought they could outsmart the law and physics by driving under the influence. Spoiler alert: they couldn’t. Also, here’s a friendly reminder: alcohol does not grant superpowers. Resisting arrest only adds to your list of not-so-superhero activities. Let’s stick to sober driving. It’s less expensive and, you know, legal. Repeat Offenders on the Road Now, here’s a puzzler: 25 incidents of driving while suspended or without a license. It seems some drivers think ‘third time’s a charm’ applies to breaking traffic laws. Newsflash: it doesn’t. If your license is more mythical than real, maybe try walking? Seriously, Stay Off the Road To the person with a DUS (driving under suspension) third, it’s not a badge of honor. It’s a sign you should maybe consider alternative transportation. Ever heard of a bicycle? Just don’t steal it, as one individual found out the hard way and ended up charged with grand larceny. Grand Theft Auto is Not a Game And speaking of grand larceny, we had a grand finale with one ambitious individual deciding that stealing from cars wasn’t enough; instead they decided to take an entire car! Congratulations, you’ve won a free stay at the Al Cannon Airbnb in North Charleston! By Detective Dusty Dunes 12 Over the last month, the Isle of Palms Police Department has been busier than a seagull at a beach picnic, handling 85 incidents that make you wonder if common sense took a vacation! So, here’s a friendly reminder for this holiday season: Don’t drive if you shouldn’t, don’t partake if it’s illegal and don’t take what’s not yours. Seems simple, right? Let’s hope next month’s blotter is more about lost cats and noisy neighbors. Stay safe and lawful Isle of Palms! The following incidents were obtained from the Isle of Palms Police Department media log reports. This is a parody of real criminal events that took place between Oct. 15 - Nov. 15. Names of individuals and business locations have been omitted out of respect and privacy. POLICE BLOTTER “Very knowledgeable, responsive and honest. We have bought and sold over 20 homes and never experienced the quality of service that Andrea provided” “...extremely helpful in making recommendations to get our house market-ready. With her suggestions for home improvements, our house sold in a week at the high end of market value.” “Professional, diligent, informed, persistent, good advice during price negotiation, provides assistance and advice through the whole buying process. Andrea is ‘tops’!” 843.532.3010 - CALL ANDREA ROGERS SOUTHERN PROFESSIONALISM A way of life, The way to be Helping people achieve their dreams $95,444,575 in sales