IslandVibesIOP.com 10 Golf Cart Grand Theft Auto A surprising number of visitors continue believing golf carts are part of some island-wide rideshare program. They are not. If the keys are in it, that doesn't mean it's yours. That's called theft, not "borrowing." Parking: Creative Doesn't Mean Legal Some vehicles managed to park on sidewalks, dunes, beach accesses and locations that engineers probably never intended to be parking spaces. Congratulations on finding a spot. Unfortunately, the parking ticket found you too. Open Containers & Public Intoxication Beach coolers did exactly what beach coolers were designed to do. Unfortunately, some people forgot the part where you're still responsible for what happens after the cooler is empty. Hydrate. The Atlantic Ocean doesn't count. The Good News Despite the annual surge in fireworks, traffic, tourists and questionable decisionmaking, most people celebrated responsibly and enjoyed another fantastic Independence Day on our beautiful island. For everyone else... thank you for providing next month's reading material. Until next time: drive sober, leave the fireworks at home and leave other people's golf carts alone. And remember... just because it's the Fourth of July doesn't mean the rules took the holiday off. We hope everyone had a wonderful Fourth of July holiday! CRIME FOURTH OF JULY EDITION: FREEDOM, FIREWORKS & QUESTIONABLE JUDGMENT IOP POLICE BLOTTER This is a satirical summary of real incidents reported on the Isle of Palms over the past month. All names and events are based on public records and presented with comedic exaggeration. AH YES, THE FOURTH OF JULY ON THE ISLE OF PALMS— THAT MAGICAL WEEK WHEN THE POPULATION TRIPLES, COMMON SENSE PACKS UP FOR VACATION AND EVERY BACKYARD SUDDENLY HAS SOMEONE WHO SWEARS THEY "KNOW A GUY" WHO GOT THE GOOD FIREWORKS. LET'S SEE HOW AMERICA CELEBRATED... Fireworks: "They're Illegal... Unless I'm Holding Them." Despite the City of Isle of Palms making it pretty clear that fireworks are not permitted within the city, plenty of patriots apparently interpreted that as a friendly suggestion. The sky lit up like a Michael Bay movie while dogs, babies and anyone hoping for a peaceful evening reconsidered their vacation plans. Nothing says "Love America" quite like launching mortars two houses away from a million-dollar beach home. Noise Complaints Speaking of explosions, officers responded to the annual symphony of Bluetooth speakers, karaoke performances that should have remained private and enough "Sweet Caroline" singalongs to make even Neil Diamond ask for a timeout. Remember: if your music can be heard from another zip code, it's probably too loud. DUI: The Annual Fireworks Finale Some folks apparently believed the red, white and blue also applied to flashing blue lights in the rearview mirror. Just a reminder: the Isle of Palms Connector is not a magical sobriety checkpoint where alcohol disappears halfway across the bridge. The handcuffs remain remarkably unconvinced by the argument, "But it's the Fourth of July."
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