CRIME DEVIL'S LETTUCE IN PARADISE Leading the charge, as always, is our favorite outlawed herb. Until Mary Jane is allowed to stroll freely through South Carolina, she'll continue to top our charts. A whopping 30 folks were caught making a salad with the devil's lettuce. Four green enthusiasts decided to spice things up by bringing their machine guns along. When the cops came knocking, they figured fleeing and resisting arrest was the way to go. Spoiler alert: it wasn't. SWEET, NOT-SO-LITTLE LIES Four other cannabis consumers tried giving false information to our diligent officers to cover up the fact they were wanted. Nice try, but no dice. Three more under the kush's influence were charged with hit-and-run. No surprise, they were also found driving under suspension. Apparently, multitasking isn't their strong suit. COCAINE CHRONICLES While the island may have dodged the meth and crack bullets this month, four individuals got nabbed for cocaine possession. Their added charges of littering and resisting arrest didn't help their cases. It seems trying to ditch your stash and run isn't a foolproof plan. JUVENILE JAMBOREE Our juvenile delinquents were busy bees, racking up everything from petty larceny to grand larceny and vandalism. They even tried the classic move of using fake IDs to buy beer. Let's be honest, who hasn't tried that one? But nothing tops the trio who kicked off their criminal careers with armed robbery, possession of a weapon during a crime, and assault and battery in the third degree. Starting strong, kids. PROSTITUTION PURSUITS Two adults decided to support the world's oldest profession by engaging in prostitution and purchasing prostitution. Hey, they're just trying to support local businesses, right? NAKED AND UNAFRAID Eleven people lost their ability to behave in public once they crossed the bridge to our serene Isle of Palms, earning charges of public disorderly conduct. One went above and beyond by parading around in his birthday suit. Needless to say, it was evident that he was given a small present, which shocked all who saw him and gave them a little laugh. The polce were kind enough to transfer him to Leeds Avenue Strip Club, where he'll be warmly welcomed. 12 IslandVibesIOP.com By Detective Dusty Dunes HALF THE TRUTH EQUALS A WHOLE LIE The following incidents were obtained from the Isle of Palms Police Department Media Log Reports. This is a parody of real criminal events that took place between June and July. The names of individuals and business locations have been omitted out of respect and privacy. So, just when you thought it was safe to dip your toes in the Isle of Palms waters, think again. There are all kinds of sharks out there. Stay safe, and remember: keep the devil's lettuce at bay and your clothes on, and you should be just fine. It seems like the Isle of Palms has swapped police blotters with the south side of Chicago this past month! Here's a rundown of the shenanigans that unfolded: POLICE BLOTTER CREATING MEMORIES ONE VACATION AT A TIME FIND YOUR DREAM VACATION HOME AT WWW.ISLEOFPALMS.VACATIONS IOP Vacations JOIN THE VIBE! Part-time/full-time sales opportunities available! Great for flexible summer schedules! CONTACT BILL MACCHIO AT PUBLISHER@ISLANDVIBESIOP.COM OR (843) 530-0403 SPREADING POSITIVE VIBES AROUND THE ISLAND D The pride of Isle of Palms yesterday, today and tomorrow. If you love our newspaper, consider being part of our marketing team!
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